No matter where or when you start to experience a dent in your self-belief, once it's triggered and activated, your outlook changes. 

Whether you're aware of it or not, you'll see everything through blurred lenses. You're constantly looking for evidence that you're not quick enough, deserving enough or smart enough. And, of course, you always find it, because that's what you are looking for. Our brains are smart like that.

My wish for leaders who lack self-belief is that somewhere, somehow, they get a glimpse of what they could be – evidence that contradicts their lack of self-belief, even if it’s just one little piece because that will start them on the journey to believing in themselves.

Let’s leave professional expectations aside for a moment

We all have moments when we struggle to believe in ourselves, and it’s not always in our work life. There are many times in our personal journeys when we could struggle to believe in ourselves, and that spills over into who we are at work. 

Perhaps you question decisions you made years ago that have led you to a place of financial instability. Or for some, it’s feeling like a failure in love when a relationship comes to an end. 

There will be those who doubt themselves as a parent when their child is struggling. 

What is it for you? 

Can you cast your mind back over your life and see that poignant time when you started to doubt yourself?

The "I’m-not-good-enough" thinking has often come about as a belief from our early years, and reframing and challenging that puts you on course to achieving greater self-confidence. You might say, "Not good enough for who? I’m good enough for me!" 

Get back to knowing and focusing on your values and what drives you.

So many people lack self-belief

When I set up my coaching business in 2018, I was genuinely surprised at how many people lacked self-belief, and for a complex range of reasons. It was the impetus for writing the book Believe: How New Leaders Step Up and Into Their Full Potential.

I wrote it so people can search for the answers in a new direction, taking them back to their inner selves. The foundation is getting to know yourself and building your inner strength because so much stems from that. 

Been there, done that

The tools and techniques I share with clients are tried and tested. They've come from my own personal breakdown and putting one foot in front of the other to not only heal but to thrive. 

There was a time when self-doubt tainted my every move. I’ve had my heart painfully broken, watched my child struggle, lost everything financially, and overcome a cruel addiction. There was even a time following the global financial crisis when I couldn't find a job for eight months.

True freedom comes from honesty; more precisely, honesty with yourself – or what many will recognise as self-awareness. 

My mess has become my powerful message and there is nothing a client can share with me that would shock me.

What can you do today?

As Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu said: "He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened."

The path to self-belief is full of twists and turns. When things seem uncertain, it’s easy to get thrown off course – unless you have solid values to anchor to. 

Your values are your north star and will guide every decision you make. Do what you need to do to get clarity on your values.

1. Look at your thinking

If you know you suffer from self-doubt, lack of confidence or even imposter syndrome, examine your thinking. What we focus on grows, so getting stuck on a negative thought loop is detrimental. 

The first step is knowing what you're dealing with. Take time to pause, breathe and reflect on your thoughts several times a day and look for repetition and patterns. 

Once you know what is going on up there in your mind, you have the power to change it.
2. Try gratitude

I've never found a self-development technique that's a one-and-done process, but I have found a tool that supercharges your journey to self-belief. 

That tool is gratitude. Write down 10 things every day that you're grateful for.

Even with my own self-awareness, trust and courage to be my confident self, life still delivers curve balls, but my daily gratitude practice is the tool that gets me through the tougher times with grace and ease.

3. Believe you already have it 

All the belief you’ve ever wanted is inside of you right now. You simply need to know how to access it. 

I’ve seen hundreds of clients have wins – by achieving something they were striving for, getting that promotion they were after, turning a situation around, or looking at an issue differently, all by believing in themselves.

I encourage you to try these techniques yourself. 

There are up to 744 hours in a month, and you can choose to use about half of one of those to do something simple that will reinforce your self-belief – that positive feeling you have inside that tells you that you're capable of anything.

I believe in you. My wish for you is that you believe in you, too.

Believe, by Brenda James, is published by Grammar Factory, RRP $24.95 paperback, $29.95 hardback.