The secret power of using ‘we’ in difficult conversations

Using “we” as a pronoun rather than “you” in conflict-laden interactions leads to others being more interested in interacting, researchers have found. (Image: Depositphotos)

The Wall Street Journal

Sun, 04 Aug 2024

By Heidi MitchellWhen you’re delivering a message that may upset another person, there’s one simple thing you can do to increase buy-in: use “we” instead of “you”.In a series of studies, researchers found that in conflict-laden interactions – such as employee reviews or political conversations – “the use of ‘you’ can make someone feel targeted and less likely to engage”, says Mohamed A. Hussein, an assistant professor of marketing at Columbia Business School in New York and...

Unlock all stories free for 10 days

Stay informed on business, government and financial developments across New Zealand.

Deeply researched, twice-edited and fact-checked news
Annual subscribers also receive a complimentary subscription to The Wall Street Journal
Personalised email news alerts, plus gift up to 5 stories a month to non-subscribers

We won’t charge for 10 days. You can cancel anytime with two clicks, an email or a phone call. Find out more.

We are serious about journalism.

Name {{ registerForm.errors.get('name') }}

Email address {{ registerForm.errors.get('email') }}

Phone Number {{ registerForm.errors.get('phone') }}

Job Title {{ registerForm.errors.get('title') }}

Password Minimum password length of 8 characters.
Require at least one upper and lowercase, numeric, and special character. {{ registerForm.errors.get('password') }}

Repeat password {{ registerForm.errors.get('password_confirmation') }}

We had trouble validating your card. It's possible your card provider is preventing us from charging the card. Please contact your card provider or customer support.

Credit Card

Cardholder's name

{{ __(plans[index].interval) | capitalize }} {{ plans[index].attributes.old_price | currency }} {{ plans[index].price | currency }}

You will be charged in 10 days unless you cancel beforehand.
We will remind you three times before charging you.
All subscriptions auto renew but are easy to cancel.

I Accept The Terms Of Service

{{ registerForm.errors.get('terms') }}

Tax: {{ taxAmount(selectedPlan) | currency }}

Total Price Including Tax: {{ priceWithTax(selectedPlan) | currency }} {{ selectedPlan.type == 'user' && spark.chargesUsersPerSeat ? '/ '+ spark.seatName : '' }} {{ selectedPlan.type == 'user' && spark.chargesUsersPerTeam ? '/ '+ __('teams.team') : '' }} / {{ __(selectedPlan.interval) | capitalize }}