Eight times it might be healthier not to forgive

There can be situations in which it’s better not to forgive and forget, experts say. (Image: Depositphotos)

Sun, 04 Aug 2024

By Susan ShapiroThere’s a “forgiveness industry” of books, coaches, TED Talks and services promoting radical exoneration from every angle. Yet after a decade researching the concept of forgiving for a book on the topic, I found that pardoning people too quickly can often be harmful and self-destructive. That’s especially true when it comes to trauma.“People who don’t forgive are sometimes portrayed as cold, hardhearted or inflexible. But that’s pathologising the person harmed versus the offender who cau...

Unlock all stories free for 10 days

Stay informed on business, government and financial developments across New Zealand.

Deeply researched, twice-edited and fact-checked news
Annual subscribers also receive a complimentary subscription to The Wall Street Journal
Personalised email news alerts, plus gift up to 5 stories a month to non-subscribers

We won’t charge for 10 days. You can cancel anytime with two clicks, an email or a phone call. Find out more.

We are serious about journalism.

Name {{ registerForm.errors.get('name') }}

Email address {{ registerForm.errors.get('email') }}

Phone Number {{ registerForm.errors.get('phone') }}

Job Title {{ registerForm.errors.get('title') }}

Password Minimum password length of 8 characters.
Require at least one upper and lowercase, numeric, and special character. {{ registerForm.errors.get('password') }}

Repeat password {{ registerForm.errors.get('password_confirmation') }}

We had trouble validating your card. It's possible your card provider is preventing us from charging the card. Please contact your card provider or customer support.

Credit Card

Cardholder's name

{{ __(plans[index].interval) | capitalize }} {{ plans[index].attributes.old_price | currency }} {{ plans[index].price | currency }}

You will be charged in 10 days unless you cancel beforehand.
We will remind you three times before charging you.
All subscriptions auto renew but are easy to cancel.

I Accept The Terms Of Service

{{ registerForm.errors.get('terms') }}

Tax: {{ taxAmount(selectedPlan) | currency }}

Total Price Including Tax: {{ priceWithTax(selectedPlan) | currency }} {{ selectedPlan.type == 'user' && spark.chargesUsersPerSeat ? '/ '+ spark.seatName : '' }} {{ selectedPlan.type == 'user' && spark.chargesUsersPerTeam ? '/ '+ __('teams.team') : '' }} / {{ __(selectedPlan.interval) | capitalize }}